A four letter word that will either move us or paralyze us. It’s the driving force to people achieving their goals.
For example, when I was 22, I moved out of my parents house. I wasn’t fearful of living on my own. Fear drove me to succeed because I knew I didn’t want to end up back at my mom and dad’s place. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I know that if I didn’t succeed they would welcome me with open arms. But that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to prove to my parents, my co-workers and my friends that I could make it on my own. The fear of having to ask my parents to come back home scared me so much that I worked my tail off to make it work. I made some mistakes along the way, but now almost 8 years to the day (Feb 22nd, 2004) I am still “making it work”.
You see fear drove me to succeed. Now on the other hand, fear can paralyze us. We all are hard critique’s of ourselves, and believe it or not, I’m human too and can be extremely hard on myself. One of things I don’t like is how I sound on video, or even the phone. (Call my cell, you’ll realize there is no welcome message.) Not sure why but there’s something about my voice that to me, is just annoying.
Now you probably are laughing at me, go ahead, I know it’s silly, but this silly little annoyance has literally kept me quiet. One of the things I’ve been wanting to do is video blogs, tv interviews and even podcasts. I know by doing this it’ll help my clients, help build my business and help me fulfill my purpose in life. But this little thing called FEAR, is stopping me.
I am so scared of what people will think, will I make any sense and of course what I will sound like. Because of my own fears, I’ve put off doing this for almost 2 years!
Now you know my fear. Let’s talk about yours. Someone once told me that fear is simply
This makes sense, right. Looking at the reasons why I haven’t done any videos. Fear of what people will think… No one has ever told me I don’t know what I’m talking about. Just like no one has ever said… you sound like a nasaly bratty little girl. Both are my own perceptions of myself. So if there is no evidence of it, why does it stop me? Sadly, because I think it’s true.
So what are you fearful of?
- Losing weight?
- Being able to keep it off?
- What people will say if you get to your goal?
- What you will think of yourself when you get to your goal?
- Not having success.
We can be fearful of those things, we just need to recognize that what we fear, may not be actually fact. They may just feel real. Of course not succeeding is a possibility. I know that there were plenty of times I thought that it was going to be my last month on my own, but then fear rolled back in and got me focused on what I needed to do to be able to make it on my own for another month. What if you were so fearful of failing, that you forced yourself into success?
Next time you get stopped in your tracks ask yourself these 4 questions.
- Are you 100% certain that it is true?
- Can you be 100% certain that it isn’t true?
- What would happen if you didn’t take action?
- What would happen if you did take a step and push through your fears?
If you aren’t 100% sure that it is or isn’t true then what do you really have to lose? What we think the outcomes will be are only assumptions of what we actually believe is true. If I believe that I will sound great on a recording, then I will. Beliefs are our own choices. (My belief in the way I sound is something I’m working on… Stay tuned for some videos!)