I’m feeling sick today and feel off. It could be because my nose and head feels like it congested and my throat is scratchy but here we are. I’m writing because I made myself the commitment that I would do it daily but I’m just being honest, I would rather be in bed. Its been a full day and I showed up for everyone and I ALMOST choose to say screw the writing for today. But I didn’t. And for that I’m super proud.
I think for women it is so easy to put yourself on the back burner. Today as I was serving a client, we talked about this very nature that women pour from an empty cup. Why we do this, I don’t know? Maybe its a societal thing, because I hear so many women tell me that they feel guilty for doing something for themselves.
Why is it so easy for us to say, don’t worry about me? Is it because we don’t value our needs, or could it be that we feel guilty for having needs? I don’t know the answer but I am aware of the potential choice, and that decision right there is why I’m sitting here 8:30pm after a long day writing while feeling like crap.
Writing is intentional self-care for myself. These past couple of weeks are proving that to me, even in the moments when I don’t “feel” like it. I come in my adorable little office space and start writing. Most days (and especially today) I have no idea what I will write. But today more than ever showed me that I’m choosing to push past my physical and emotional feelings and doing the thing I know will in the long run serve me best.
As I literally sit and write, my feelings are changing. Sure I’m still feeling sick, but my attitude towards writing has completely shifted. Seriously in a matter of 300 words, I feel better about getting my body off the comfy couch to focus my energy on me and where my own head is at.
Your goals don’t care how you feel.
Damn ain’t that the truth. Your goals will be there whether you take action or you don’t. It is up to us to take the action. It is up to us to take care of ourselves. Because lets face it, if we don’t, who will?
I remember I used to put blame on other people for making me feel a certain way. I would say, “they make me feel guilty.” “they made me mad.” They, they they. One day I woke up tired of the infamous “they”. I was tired of allowing “they” to dictate how I felt. I took ownership. Let me explain. Guilt for example. Guilt is a fact that you committed a specific offense or crime. They made me feel guilty for not going to the party. So if you don’t go to a party, that’s a crime? No but what “they” said may sound like it was. Lets be honest, people can say some hurtful things. But no one can actually make you feel a certain way, it’s our choice to react or feel a certain way. Nobody can decide that for you.
Yes can you feel bad for not going, of course, but at the same time is it wrong if you just didn’t want to go? It’s our choice to feel bad. When you take control of how you feel, you take back the power from “they”.
Now I’m not a mom so I can’t speak from experience, but I see this happen a lot with my friends. Mommas who feel guilty for taking an hour to get a mani/pedi. Mamas you raise little tiny humans 24/7. Why can’t you take one hour a week, just one of the 368 we get every week to do something nice for you. I hope I don’t step on any toes here, but what lesson do you teach your kids when you don’t value yourself? Maybe its a financial reason or a babysitting issue as to why you don’t do it, but maybe just need to have 5 minutes of quiet time. Start somewhere… no one can call you a bad mom if you take 5 minutes of the 1,440 you have every day to pour into your cup.
Yes the laundry can wait. Yes the toys can be picked up later. Say yes to yourself for once. When I see women do this, EVERYONE in their household benefits. Try it. Even if it’s just for one week. Ask for help. That doesn’t make you a bad mom, it makes you a stronger one! You were not meant to do it all. That’s why it takes TWO to tango.
Wow, didn’t think this would be about momlife. But it’s what came out. And yes I know I’m not a mom and I don’t know what I would do in your situation. True. I get it. I’m just an observer of some incredible moms that struggle with their own self-worth as well as mom’s that thrive. One of the things that I feel separate the two is self-care. Taking care of themselves without guilt attached to fill their own cup so that it overflows into their families.
And with that, I’m going to take some medicine and go to bed!
Note to self: Grammar and spelling mistakes galore when tired and sick. hahaha