Thoughts on the 21/90 Rule

21/90 rule…

They (yup the infamous they) say it takes 21 days to build a habit and 90 days to create it a lifestyle. If you want my honest opinion, that’s a nice thought in theory but I don’t think it’s true. I have been writing consistently for 21 days now, and it doesn’t feel anything like a habit.

a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.
Yup that’s the definition, a regular tendency that is HARD to give up. Y’all writing is not hard for me to give up right now. It’s not even a regular thing yet. Is it apart of my to-do list day in and day out. Yes. But it’s taking me a lot of intentionality in getting it done. When I think of habits, I think of the tasks I do without even thinking. Putting my seatbelt on when I first get in my car, drink 16oz of water before I have breakfast, putting my pants on starting with my right foot. The mindless tasks I do because it’s habitual. Writing for 21 days… not mindless, its intentional. I have to schedule it in my calendar as a personal appointment with an alarm EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I honestly don’t even know if 90 days would make it a habit. It takes a lot of mindpower to sit down and start at the blank screen and start writing. It takes thought in what am I going to say today?
Am I stoked that I have been consistent, absolutely. Just a few more days and I can choose my next goal… most likely continuing on for another 30 days. But do I see myself calling it a lifestyle if I were to do 90 days, absolutely not!
I’ve been jumping in my Bible app daily for almost a year now and that still doesn’t feel like a lifestyle. It’s a lot easier to remember, but that’s because I have made it a part of my morning routine.
A bad habit of mine, checking my phone first thing in the morning. I know I said I was going to sleep with the phone outside the bedroom, but I haven’t. One habit to change at a time. It’s on the list. Which brings me back to the Bible app. So what I’ve been intentional about (not always consistent) is when I do pick up my phone in the morning, I go to the BIble app first. I look for the light in my life before I get sucked into the vortex of advertisements and notifications.
Not super consistent on what app I go to first but I’m working on it.

Intentionality + consistency is a unbelievable formula. I think so often we look for the big-ticket item that will make our entire life different. It’s like we look for the one thing, or a boulder… we want to drop the  one boulder into water, and the waves it creates is our lives changing. Unfortunately, there’s no one thing that will drastically change your life. But if you search for the pebbles, the small things you can do daily, eventually with enough pebbles our lives will change without us even realizing it.

I’m sure there is some kind of research in the 21/90 rule, but at the end of the day, you are you… not a statistic. I don’t know what you want to change, but set your own goals of consistency, daily consistency is even more magical. I would recommend starting small, the task and the time. What is realistic for you, not anyone else. If I told you I was going to write for 60 days straight, I would have failed by day 10. Honestly I don’t think it would have been possible. Shoot, 30 days seemed like a stretch to me. But I made the commitment to myself and made no expectations as to how long I would write for, or what I was going to write about. My goal has always been, just write daily.

Now go make a decision for YOU. Keep it simple. Keep it real. What are you willing to do and how long can you realistically do it daily?