Yup, I got nothing but here I sit at Corner Bakery refuses to let the “thought” that I have nothing to say stop me from writing this blog. I actually started a post about relationships, but one paragraph in, I lost my train of thought and stopped because I didn’t know where I was going with it. So maybe in the future my original thoughts will come back to me, or maybe not… but I started fresh and I’m going to be ok with that.
Today is a full day, and I’m a little anxious. I can tell because my right eye is twitching. (If you follow me on social media, you would of seen my posts a few weeks back.) I couldn’t tell you what I’m anxious about, I know my schedule, I know I’ve given myself the time in between every appointment but knowing that its going to be a go… go… go… day scares me. Scares me because my biggest fear on these days, is that I’m going burn out and not be able to serve at my top ability.
I’m the type of person that is all-in or all-out. There is no between. I’ll be honest its a hard way to live. Most of my life, I have been involved in a lot… soccer, swimming, gymnastics, dance, cheer and of course work and school was my senior year in high school. Since then not much had changed, well until 1.5 years ago when I was hit hard by life. And I had to let go of some things not because I want to but because I needed to, for my health.
It reminded me of something someone once told me back in high school that never really made sense until it was said to me again (in a different way) about a year ago. They told me… when you have so many plates to fill, you fill each plate very thin. You only have 100% to give and when you have 5 plates to fill, not one plate will ever have 100% of you. BAM! It hit me, I was trying to give so much of myself to everything but I never had the ability to give my all to everything.
For as long as I can remember, I thought being busy meant I was successful. But in reality, I was only successful in being busy, not necessarily productive in reaching my life goals. So I let some things go and put my focus in one or two things versus 10!!! And can I just tell you what happened??? I started thriving. I have found balance. And most importantly, I have found freedom in my mind. I don’t feel overwhelmed, I don’t feel like I’m slacking because I can manage it all. I let go of some of the good, to allow room for the GREAT!!!
And crazy to think, I’m ready to do it again… Stay tuned!