Sometimes I impress myself

I really believed I wouldn’t still be writing, but here we are 18 days in. Who would of thought I had so much to write. Lol

I dont know why it surprises me. I’m usually pretty good when it comes to following thru on the things most people think I wouldn’t be able to complete. I’m not saying I’m good at following thru on everything. The simple things are the things I struggle with a lot. That’s part of the reason I’m even doing this challenge.

Being consistent in the daily commitment, the easy stuff is my biggest challenge. If I’m going to being completely honest here, brushing my teeth at night is a struggle, but it’s better now that I’ve had to pay lots of money for fixing my poor dental hygiene. It’s embarrassing to write that but it’s just the truth. I struggle with consistency.

I think thats the thing most people struggle with. Not necessiarly dental hygiene, but in regards to doing anything consistent.

So when it comes to the question, will I be able to complete 30 days of writing. The answer is yes. I believe I can and I will. But as the countdown to 30 comes closer, the real question is what will I do next?

Do I continue writing? Do I stop? Do I write less? Do I have more to say? What purpose does writing serve me then? Why do it?

Lots of questions to answer. I’m not one to answer them because then I might have to keep my word, but the reality is, I don’t have to do anything. But for today’s sake of writing I’m going to attempt to answer my own questions.


Do I continue writing?

I could. I have been enjoying the process of slowing down to think about where my head is at. It’s giving me things to think about versus just trying to keep up. My days also feel more productive when I finish a post. So yes, I think I will continue.

Do I stop?

Considering the alternative answer to the first question. Stopping the daily writing, puts me back in hyperdrive of “keeping up”. So nope, not going to stop. Writing is my way of having a conversation with myself. And if someone randomly comes across it and finds hope or joy then it’s doing more than I ever set out to accomplish.

Do I write less?

The daily action of writing takes a lot of intentionality. It can sometimes be overwhelming to sit down in front of my computer and stare at a black screen. But if I’m thinking about what it might look like if I wrote less frequently, I can’t imagine myself being consistent. I spend a solid 20 minutes each day and I think thats a pretty small amount of time considering the joy of completion it does for me.

Do I have more to say?

Probably. The fact that I have been able to come up with things to say everyday thus far is shocking to me. It makes me wonder what else I have to say. I never imagined myself a deep in thought kind of person so writing daily definitely challenges me in a creative way. Speaking of creative output. I think it’s a topic of discussion that we all have the ability to be creative, but do we actually allow ourselves to do it. For me, it started in dance, but writing gives me a different creative expression that my physical body can appreciate.

What purpose does writing serve me then?

I guess I answered this question above. One purpose is simple the ability to express myself creatively. Another purpose I hope that one day it will serve is to give people a small picture of what it is like to grow yourself. It amazes me to think about how I used to think vs the way I think now. The filter of which I see life has completely shifted. I realize that a lot of what I write about it simply to show the shifts. I never realized how jaded my view on things were. Yes I put on a show that life was this grand adventure, but it was that, a show. I didn’t even realize I was the main character until I zoomed out and asked myself, what is my truth?

Why do it? 

This feels like an extension of my last question I answered and my brain is overwhelmed with the mere fact that I got out most of my thoughts out. I do it for me. I do it for maybe the one reader. I do it to share my thoughts with the future generation. It’s like my online journal. I hope it inspires others as much as it has inspired me to continually seek growth through the challenges we all have. What if we could see our life in the eyes of someone else. Would you be proud? I think writing gives me a different perspective of my own life. It gets me out of my fish bowl mentality and honestly it makes me proud to share my thoughts.