My journey started with a single step but I have been walking this path for a lot longer. A lot had to happen before I said yes to walking a journey into discovering my faith. It was long and I completely set the pace which made it that much longer. But the past 2.5 years have dramatically changed my life for the good. It was until I had the opportunity to share my story that I realized the amount of change that happened. I had my head focused on my feet taking it one small step at a time.
These past few months, I’ve shared my story to a lot of people. My church pastors gave me the opportunity to share at the yearly women’s event. They asked me to write my story and that was a moment that I had to stop and zoom out to see the distance I had come.
Have you ever felt that you have been in a foreign city walking aimlessly towards something but you have no idea where exactly you’re going or when you’ll actually arrive? I have. Thanks to my hubby. haha When we travel, he takes the lead in directions. I just follow his path. This one trip to New York City, he took me on a walking adventure which felt like it would never end. I had no sense of how much farther it would take let alone where we were going. I trusted him to get me there safely.
My faith journey has been a lot like that. Constantly stepping trusting that I’m headed in the right direction. Looking at the scenery along the way and yet still moving, step by step. I took baby steps. Met a friend for coffee. Went for a walk with my sister-in-law. Attended church. Went for more coffee. Attended church. Asked more questions. Started reading the Bible. Ask more questions. Joined a small group. Asked more questions. Baby steps. I was adamant I would not take a step that was not of my own choosing. Meaning if it didn’t feel right, it wasn’t happening. If I felt pressured, I pushed back. This was MY journey and no one was going to tell me what to do.
Sometimes I think that stubbornness is owning every step was the reason it took so long, but I had no expectation, and definitely no agenda.
There were days I compared my journey to someone else. I would ask myself, what is it that I’m missing? Was I missing anything? Or am I scared of saying yes? All sorts of thoughts came to mind. But I went back to my gut. If it wasn’t feeling like it was my next step, then I was perfectly ok with staying where I was at.
Zooming out and looking back at my past, there’s absolutely nothing I would change. The passion I have for sharing my story is undeniably true. For most of my life, I did the things I thought people expected me to do, but this wasn’t anything like that. I owned my zone. And I love it. It has empowered me to take control of what I can control and let God do the rest. I don’t know every story in the Bible, I don’t have to pretend to. I don’t need to be an expert in theological understanding. That’s not my job. For once in my life, I have no expectations of myself and I definitely don’t have thoughts about what everyone else expects of me.
One of my dear friends who just happens to be a pastor shared my story this weekend. She shared what I wrote about the other day about being a bad friend, but I think she tells my story better. It was funny because people applauded when she finished sharing it, I was confused. Why are people clapping in church? It took me a moment to zoom out and realize the work that God has done in my life. Sure I made the decision to take the step, but it was Him who guided me through it all. I just continued to show up. And that is the power of your baby steps. Taking the steps without knowing the destination. Trusting the process even when you don’t understand. Allowing your story to be what it may be, the joy and the sorrow and the confusion.
Here’s a short video about my story… If you got 5 more minutes to spare… 😉
And here’s the video of my friend (and pastor) share a snippet of my story during church this past weekend!