Have you ever…

Ok so have you ever had a dream so crazy that you thought, where the heck did that come from?

Well I have… and it’s been on my heart for 10 months now and the more it’s on my heart, the crazier I think it is in my head.

Its crazier in my head because it keeps GROWING into more. More than I can even process at this moment, definitely more than I believe I’m qualified for and mostly because I have no idea why this dream is on my heart.

I know I’ve mentioned it before, but here’s my audacious, hairy (and scary) of a dream… write a book. And not just any book, I have a dream for it to become a best-seller. Go ahead and laugh out loud, because I’m right there with you. That dream came to my heart 10 years ago and while I did nothing with it back then it was reborn last year while I was reading the book, Chase the Lion by Mark Batterson.

But this time around I’m taking super small steps because I’m definitely not qualified. But I trust that there is a reason for it. Or maybe I’ve just read to many good books that make me believe I can do it to. The last 30+ days has shown me that writing isn’t as hard as I thought. If I take them in steps. This book may end up taking another 10 years to write, but who cares. Time is going to pass regardless.

So what is my book going to be about… no clue, but it’s what I’ve been praying about. My life goal these days is to just to serve others well. So with a book I want to do the same. I would love to sit down with anyone who reads it and ask them what they dream about doing. I want to inspire others to build a relationship with God. The last 2.5 years have rocked my world and I know it is because I went on a faith journey to discover what He was all about. I know that is an uphill battle, but honestly, if I could have that, why can’t everyone?

I remember how far I was and how I believed my success was up to me. I remember what it was like to struggle with the negative self-talk and not understand why I was so mean to myself. I remember what it’s like to not have a purpose in getting out of bed. I remember what it was like to feel like you are on a hamster wheel going nowhere fast. I remember when someone brought up faith, Jesus or God my response was always “good for you, but that’s not for me”. I remember believing that only bad things happens to Christ followers. I remember feeling like an idiot when it came to faith because I was too ashamed for not knowing anything about it. I remember feeling confused when it came to Scriptures. I know what it is like to be alone. I know what it feels like to be sad for no apparent reason. I know what it is like to never feel enough. I remember feeling unworthy of love. I remember all of these things.

I was so far from God because I simply didn’t understand any of it.

This is my passion. Helping people not only understand His love but to also feel His love. One of the biggest things I remember asking while on my journey is… “what happens after I say yes I believe?”

And here’s what I believe… I believe God put this dream on my heart. I believe that my purpose is to help others who may be where I was… Far from Him, completely turned off by the idea of Him, confused by it all. I believe that I can help those who are open and willing to take a step into exploring faith. Not religion, but having unwavering faith that life is good.

I don’t know what that will look like written in a book but I will continue to step in faith that this is His dream, not mine. Because we all know, it’s comical to think that I am qualified.

I heard this on a weekly call I attend called Team Brave. It’s a Facebook community for women. It’s a mid-week boost. But the woman sharing her heart today said “God doesn’t call the qualified… He qualifies the call.”

It was the exact message I needed to hear knowing that I’ve been questioning this dream of mine. Whatever dream is on your heart, I hope you know that your mind will try to stop you, but have faith and take a step knowing that your dream is there for a reason. Keep going. Be brave!