The day got off to a slow start… I’ve been having these types of mornings more often lately and while the Miracle Morning has been a great tool for me once I get up, I’ve been struggling with getting up. Now I know that I’m smack dab in the middle of listening to the Miracle Morning book, which I’ll be honest, it’s been half-hearted which may be why I’m still having difficulty with getting out of bed.
I still wake up early, my husband hates it because my alarm will sometimes wake him up too. (woopsie, sorry honey) but having the freedom to stay in bed a little longer can be a dangerous thing. Today I was living on the edge of danger because I have a certain routine that takes a certain amount of time to complete in the morning and I almost got to the point of rushing, and that doesn’t go well for anyone!
ANYWHO, that was the start of my day. It wasn’t bad, and I definitely wasn’t mad at myself in any way. Just took the morning slow. But that’s where everything tumbled by and I felt like I was non-stop until this moment now. It was a great day meeting with friends and catching up on life but the next thing I know I’m walking in the door and it’s almost 9pm. What the what? You guys, I left my house this morning at 10:30 am… where the heck did my day go? Was I productive, maybe? Was it fun, yes! Do I know all that I accomplished, only if I thought about it which only means not really.
Looking back at the week, I started off really strong, but as the days passed I think my threshold for productivity lessened and lessened. I can’t be disappointed with myself because it happened and I have a choice to make tonight… be sad and disappointed OR seek growth. What can I learn from the week? Where could I have improved?
I could tell you right now where I needed to do better… my free time. This week I spent it out and about “shopping” for stuff I, of course, didn’t need and some of which I already returned. (Sigh) This you guys is where I struggle. It’s a bad addiction of looking for the greatest find. I LOOOOOOVE TjMaxx and Marshalls and literally could go to every single one of them in San Diego over the course of 3 days if I allowed myself. Do I always buy stuff, nope? But I just love to see what’s out there. Sometimes I discover some really great deals… $6 on the best wallet, yes please! Or we can talk about my entire house filled with TjMaxx or HomeGoods finds.
But the ugly truth is that I don’t need to be doing that. It absolutely doesn’t serve my bigger purpose. Sure it helps me pass the time when my husband is gone or in between appointments, but the reality is, it’s something I’d like to have better control.
Totally got off topic there… but that’s what happens when you start reflecting on the day. Ugh! There was so much I could have done between meeting with friends but I CHOOSE not to and because I got lost in the midst of window shopping, I lost some real opportunity to spend further developing ME.
When I was driving home today, I felt like I used to feel after a long day of training, coaching dance, going to school and teaching classes. This is kinda sad but I was drained mentally from searching for the best deals, all I wanted to do when I got home was get in my pajamas, maybe pour myself a glass of wine, turn on the tv and then eventually fall asleep watching some random movie I’ve seen a thousand times. That was what the old Ashley would have wanted to do, but here’s the cool part of everything that happened today, even though some of my day was filled with poor decision-making, when I got home I made a different choice. I didn’t go back to the routine of crawling into bed without brushing my teeth. I didn’t turn on the tv just to fill the room with noise. I choose to sit down and write. I am choosing not to watch tv or have the glass of wine. Honestly I’ll still go to bed, I like being consistent in the lights off routine so I will go upstairs, brush my teeth and read a little of my book that I have set next to my bed.
So when the day slipped away, I like to think that I have been able to catch up with it, grab it by the horns and redirect it towards the version I’m becoming, not the girl I used to be. I think that is the hardest part of self-development is avoiding those past habits and routines that got you stuck in the first place. It’s like to become the best version of yourself you have to push the boulder up a hill and every once in a while you look back and think, maybe the old life would be better, maybe I can be happy there. In that very moment you almost have to snap yourself out of there and remember the reason you got started in the first place, you knew you were capable of more, so much more and you were done being stuck.
I don’t know what hill you’re having to climb but know it’s quite alright to have a slip up every once in away. It’s ok to catch you doing the old you but don’t allow yourself to think that you can’t be better. Becoming the best version of you is like developing a muscle, you got to keep working it or else you lose it!
Stay strong my friend, don’t beat yourself up over something tiny as a day slipping away from you. In a moment you can make a different choice and get back on track!